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90 min

The Structural Integrity of Dropped Toast: An Introduction

Why does toast always land butter-side down? This foundational course examines gravitational bias in baked goods through a combination of lab work, philosophical debate, and continental breakfast fieldwork. Students will conduct a minimum of 200 controlled drops.

90 min

Cat Behaviour and the Philosophy of Indifference

An interdisciplinary exploration of why cats knock things off tables, stare at walls, and refuse to acknowledge their names. Students will complete a 40-hour supervised staring contest with a cat. Prerequisite: ability to tolerate being ignored.

1 day

Advanced Procrastination: Strategies and Justifications

Building on the wildly popular Introduction to Procrastination (which most students never finished), this advanced course covers the psychology, philosophy, and surprisingly rich history of putting things off. Final assignment due date is deliberately left blank.

90 min

Quantum Sock Disappearance and Laundry Mechanics

An evidence-based investigation into why socks vanish in washing machines. Topics include: observer effect in tumble dryers, the thermodynamics of missing pairs, and coping strategies. Lab sessions require students to bring one matched pair of socks (expected attrition: 50%).

15 min

Applied Pasta Theory: From al Dente to Existential Crisis

Is spaghetti a food or a philosophical condition? This course challenges students to question everything they know about carbohydrates. Includes seminars on the moral implications of overcooking, a field trip to Bologna, and a compulsory 3,000-word essay on hollow pasta.

less than 5 min

A Comprehensive Study of Meetings That Could Have Been Emails

This graduate-level seminar critically analyses the anatomy of pointless meetings. Students will endure 6 simulated unnecessary meetings per week, produce weekly reflection journals, and defend a final thesis on whether any meeting in history was truly necessary.

30 min

Introduction to Staring at the Wi-Fi Router Hoping It Fixes Itself

A practical course covering all known techniques for willing a router back to life through sustained eye contact, sighing, and judicious unplugging. Modules include: the three-minute rule, LED light interpretation, and advanced blaming of the service provider.

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